March 11, 2010 § 3 Comments
With the birth of my dear friend Noel’s baby girl Clare, and another close friend with a baby girl on the way I find myself so enthralled with the land of baby. It’s really crazy when your friends start getting married, yeah that’s a “were adults” moment but baby’s are totally different. I am so excited to meet them, squeeze them and spoil them!!
I have always been someone who had a motherly instinct, it plays a part in everything I do. It seems in the past few years that if there is a baby/kid in the room- I can’t keep my eyes off of them. I don’t know if this is my slightly accelerated maternal time clock (thanks chemo) or if this is typical of a mid-twenties lady.
Carlton & I can’t wait to have kids down the line- and hope we’ll be able to do so naturally. Although going through the chemo-therapy I did may give us some trouble. For now, were crossing our fingers that my fertility was not affected..I’ve tried to seek out the fertility resources that are out there for us young-adult cancer survivors. But to be quite honest, there’s not much to work with. The realm of female viabillity post chemo-therapy is so individually complex that it’s hard to get anything concrete from a Dr. even a specialist. I’ve had one specialist tell me, “You should be ok” and another “why don’t you start trying now?”
Now the latter question has an extremely long list of not right now because. So that kind of led me to the “let life happen” mentality. I don’t want to live my life in a way that gives cancer so much credit. Cancer did take some things from me, but it also gave me a new outlook on life- and a strong passion for all things health/social justice.
For the mean time I will continue loving all things baby and spoil my niece Clare and all the other cuties in my life! Oh yeah and of course love being the mama of my Chazzy boy!